what little we possess

[Now Playing] Matt Pryor - Hover Near Fame (Live at Bowery Ballroom)

i should be asleep. but i'm not. i should have done my homework that is due tomorrow. but i haven't. there are so many things that should be done. but i've not been doing any of them.


i realized today how much of a shitty friend i have been to someone. she knows who she is because she pretty much told me the other day i was being an asshole. i was an asshole out convenience. i tend to run away from things, avoid things when i don't want to deal. and if you live almost 800 miles away, i'll be able to shut you out pretty fucking easily.

to be honest, i started talking to her again because i was told i was an asshole and i didn't want to be called one. however today we were on the phone for an hour & a half (at least that is what my phone timer told me) . within that 90 minutes, she listened to me. she didn't have to. i was crying and all pathetic. if i was her, i wouldn't have listened to i was saying or been nice to me. she did both things.

and then at the end of the conversation, she made me laugh. the way i was feeling was really terrible. and with the tears streaming down my face and the snot that formed, she made me bounce back from it. that really takes someone amazing to do so.


even though i have been a fucking emotional miserable person the last bunch of weeks, i am glad i have my friend back.