this is not routine

i think i have time to actually write something & am totally in the mood to do so. this might be long depending on how long i feel like writing, what i have to say and when my mom calls me for dinner. i am sorry, but pasta & sauce really trumps blogging.


right now life is pretty ok. i mean there isn't too much going on. school is done. as in - i have finally finished. i am no longer an undergrad. this took 7.5 years, but it has happened. it doesn't feel like it though. i mean i know that i am done but it feels like a break, not completion. then again that is all it really is. i have to start grad school in fall 09. and then i have to take 175 hours of classes every 5 years after that. so really it is just one chapter of schooling that is done. i still have ~30 years left of learning left to do. shit, when you put it that way it is no longer too exciting.

my life now is all about retail and eventually subbing. i had the thought the other day that i am going to get stuck in the retail business. this week and next i will be working five days a week. this will probably continue until i tell eric not to schedule me that anymore. i can't start subbing until february. which is oddly ok. it makes me nervous to begin that whole chapter. i have been getting really scared about it lately. i don't know why. i have friends who have been really diving head first into it. and i am not. i am kind of relieved. it is natural to be nervous, but i know that if i don't start, i am never going to actually start. i know that this is what i am good at and what i want to do, so hopefully it will all fall into place.

other than that, there isn't much to tell. tina is home, so we hang & play music often. laura is in india, so i miss her. i see other friends sporadically and it is always wonderful. i've been talking to some new folks, but they tend to disappear after a while. i am used to being alone at this point so i just try to not get too excited about anything. my heart is in no shape to get all worked up about something that won't develop into anything substantial.

alright i have run out of words & am kind of hungry. i'm going to go check on the status of dinner & hope things are coming along well.