i've got love in my tummy

[Now Playing] Sarah McLachlan - Mary (i'm bringing this album back into my life, which is good b/c it deserves to be there. and if you don't know it, pick it up & fall in love)

i like food. you could say that i am a fan.

i'm all about baked goods. getting chinese food makes my day bright and lovely. when i go to jersey to see my friends, trips are centered around it. wawa, diners, gravy. the excitement that we have over mac&cheese isn't probably too healthy, but that is fine with me.

i mean, i'm not gonna front, i'm a big girl. i'm not happy with my weight, but i have been bigger so i can't complain. i think at my heaviest i was 216 (or at least that is the most i have seen on a scale). i am comfortable enough with myself now that i don't get depressed over it on a regular basis. i have my moments when i use that as my fall back reason, but we all have our own personal excuses for ourselves.

this is being brought up b/c i had to bring my car to the mechanic this morning & had to get up super early for a day that i didn't have to work (7:30am is annoying after not sleeping until after 3:30am). i was planning on getting an egg sandwich and a half&half [half iced tea/half lemonade] at the deli. after it coming up in conversation, i changed my mind on the drive & got dunkin donuts. as the woman was ringing me up, she goes to me "you have lost a lot of weight."

while it is a good ting for someone to tell you, i always have had a hard time responding to that comment. i have really never actively tried to lose weight. i mean i change a thing or two here & there in my diet, but nothing major. when i lost all that weight a couple years ago, i cut out soda & tried not to eat as much bread. i wasn't active beyond my normal nonactive self. but with little changes, i lost almost 60 pounds. and i really never notice when i am losing weight. it is one of those things that all of a sudden you notice that something does/doesn't fit.

anywho, i responded in my normal - "oh really? i didn't notice." i know i have been eating differently lately. i eat when i am home & bored. but i have been working a whole bunch lately and have had a bit of a social life, which keeps me distracted from eating more than i know i should. the woman responded saying that i indeed had & that i looked good.

then she handed me my coffee, my chocolate glazed & my boston creme...which i inhaled when i got home.