all i've got is a haystack

sometimes I can't help but feel defeated. like no matter how much I try, things just will never be what I want them to be.

I'm not sure what else to write besides that.
nor am I sure what else to do with myself anymore.

but for now I am going to listen to the new david gray album till I fall asleep.

so lonely but always free

my nights lately have consisted of The Office dvds, decaf coffee, waffles, pretzels & dip, ice cream and (tonight only) raviolis.

and i wonder why no one wants to date me?

picking up things that we shouldn't

i make promises to myself all the time. but i break them everyday.

right now i have two going on.

i know by tomorrow i'll have broken one.
in no more than a weeks time, the other will be completely shattered.

i wish i could write this out more specifically...but i don't want to be such a fucking complainer, i don't know who reads this & i don't want to have to face the consequences of my feelings.



starting season three of my dvd marathon of the office today, work is early tomorrow and i have had no sleep all weekend. hopefully i fall asleep pretty early.

the cure for a broken heart

this is the last time i am doing this. after this, i give up. i'm done trying & i'll just accept it. if it happens, then it happens. but i'm not looking for it any longer.

whatever, being alone probably isn't too bad.

it's not forever but it's just tonight

my days have been like rollercoasters lately.
all these ups & downs of my moods.

right now, i'm on a down.


i should go to bed soon. i have work at 8am...which sucks. looking at the labels that are i previously assigned my entries, i haven't listened the inara george record in a long time. regardless of the fact that it might make me cry myself to sleep, i think i might have to give it a spin.

i'll pretend that it's you

i know i don't have a terrible life. i know that things could be way worse. i know that i have friends that love me. i know that i am a good person.

but i hate how a skyline can make hate everything.