the way I see myself so confused

i'm at fork in the road. do i do what i want or do what i should?

if this is only a test

i hope that i'm passing

-pedro the lion

how can I say when I don't know

it's been a bit.

+ I just finished a strangers with candy marathon.
+ turkey day was good. black Friday is tomorrow.
+ i'm not going to say things are well, but things are well.

bedtime.

been down one time

there are many things i have tried to quit before but this one isn't hard.

i was talking to hana the other day when i realized something. this entry isn't me pretending that i am over anything. nor is it me sad. it isn't even me reaching out. it is me putting it fully to rest because i really don't care enough about it to hold on.

looking for a storyline

i'm a slacker, sorry.

i got up at 430 this morning for no reason. i have nothing else to say really. so enjoy this picture...



then watch the trailer.

i'm seeing this the moment it comes out. midnight showing?

way down to silver road I go

sometimes I long to magically be someone I don't think I could ever become on my own. other times I don't want to ever be someone I couldn't become through learning and growing.

save her soul until she shines

it has been an interesting couple days when it comes to my emotions.

today Hana was an amazing friend (whih is a shock since most other days she is just plain awful). thanks for making me feel better sporto. I needed it.

tomorrow I am going out to east bumblefuck long island to visit Chrissy. it will be a good time without a doubt.

don't turn out like me

i'm listening to the new album by Destry on ap.net

it's actually good. i didn't think michelle could actually carry an album by herself. but it is enjoyable. everytime i see straylight, i really miss her parts in the older songs. so listening to this after last night makes me happy. maybe i am just biased, but she is a sweetheart & i'm happy that she is doing her thing even if it's on her own.

in other news, i'm in a fuck you kind of mood. not a bad one, but like an "i'm awesome" kind of fuck you. hopefully this lasts. so i'm going to go get some pumpkin ice cream and enjoy my morning.

The music floats like smoke

I'm never going to underestimate the power of music, friends and food ever again.




thanks to Straylight Run, Tina, Jackie and bubble tea for a really good night.

it's nice to be liked

i’m kind of in the mood to lie in bed and not move for the next 3 days. but i’m going to go see straylight run and hopefully feel better about myself.

i can’t wait. i hope it works.

cloud on my tongue

it isn’t as pretty as you’d like to guess
in your memory, you’re drunk on your awe to me
it doesn’t mean anything at all.

dear jeff mangum,

this fits. it fits more than i'd like to admit.

aeroplane is one of those records i want to share, but i like feeling like it's mine.

come out of your music hiding. you are too brilliant to not be out there counteracting all the crap out there today.

love, katharine.

much too hard to cope

it is currently 4:10am.
I have to be up by 6:30am.

I’ve been roaming around the Internet for the last 4+ hours. mostly meaningless, probably pointless.

now I’m listening to the new amsterdams and not sleeping.


it was an interesting day. it is good to know I have people I can talk to about things, be it text, face to face or over the phone. it is far better to be honest than to hold things in. I did that for far too many years.

maybe we’ll get out somehow

another night in Penn station, another night sharing a table in starbucks with a stranger. another little blog typed on my touch.

it was another great night seeing the get up kids and Kevin Devine. I was a lumberjack. it really wasn't an amazing costume, but it was last minute and all I had to buy was my hat. and it was half off and will serve me well in the upcoming months when I am going to be shoveling my driveway and the walk.

my outfit did resemble the dreaded hipster uniform. and also in a dreaded form, I think I enjoy it. I might have to invest in a button up plaid shirt or two. first i wore my emo sweater last night and now this? damn me!

half of the fun of my night was looking at everyone else's costumes. my top three favorite ones in order of greatness:
1: Quail Man in Irving Plaza
2: the abundance of contestants from Legends of the Hidden Temple that I saw everywhere from union square, a bar and in the venue.
3: Nightman (circa The nightman cometh)

also the bands on stage were great. the opening band was zz top, Kevin and the band were mummies (but Kevin was a mommy) and then the Get Up Kids were all the characters from the Wizard of Oz. I was disappointed that there were so many non dressed up peoples. I am not a huge Halloween person, but I think if you go out, you shoul at least do something.

completely random point: my feet hurt. sitting down feels amazing. now I have no desire to move. but in ~8 minutes I am going to have to. boo.

...

so it's over an hour later, I'm still on the train. I'm so tired and can't wait to get into my pajamas. my head hurts, my eyes are begging to be closed for a long period of time and my feet can't wait to be free of my chucks.

i just put on mariah carey's "always be my baby"...I don't know, it is just one of those songs that I will always love. I really need to make a good list of songs that are guilty pleasures, those songs that make you lose any degree of coolness because you geek out so hard.

that is one mix I going to have to make on cassette so I can play it in my car no matter what. get ready, the wheels are turning on this one...

right now it is 1:09 for the second time today, does that mean there would have been another 1:19 train in penn leaving in 10 minutes? damn I hope not. cause then o would have been able to stay at the venue later than I did. boo.

two more stops from home. this is where I was yesterday when I ended this, so maybe i'll end it here again. I'm not sure who I should have sing me through the rest of the way, but right now I have monty python's lumberjack song entertaining me.