i'm a fake.
not in the terrible way (then again is there a good fake?) but in the way that i have to adjust to my surroundings to get through the day. if i were to say the things i feel or do the things i really wanted, i would be in a different place. my problem is i don't know if that would be a good thing or not.
in every given situation, there is the thing that i did & then something that i wish i would have done. be it the way i would have spoken to this person, the way i would have completed that task or even the way i would have crossed the street.
there is a john mayer quote that has rung true to me since my early days as a freshman in my dorm at stony brook:
One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just want to be liked
I just want to be funny
Look like the joke's on me
So call me Captain Backfire
it fits me perfectly. i want to believe that i live my own life, but i don't. i want to impress. i want to be liked. there is nothing wrong with that in theory (i mean even john mayer felt that way), but part of me will forever feel foolish for it.
courtesy of Garfield Minus Garfield
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